*Web Novel chapter below*
How to Invest in Index Funds: A Beginner’s Guide to Effortless Wealth-Building
Investing can feel like a maze of confusing options and risky bets—especially if you’re just starting out. But there’s one strategy that cuts through the noise with its simplicity, low cost, and proven results: index fund investing. If you’re searching for a beginner-friendly way to grow your wealth over time, index funds are your golden ticket. In this guide, we’ll explain what index funds are, why they’re perfect for beginners, and how to get started today—complete with trusted platforms where you can sign up. By the end, you’ll have a clear, actionable path to launch your investment journey.
What Are Index Funds?
Imagine owning a small piece of the entire stock market without having to pick individual stocks. That’s the magic of an index fund. It’s a type of mutual fund or exchange-traded fund (ETF) that mirrors a specific market index, like the S&P 500 or the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Instead of betting on one company, you’re investing in hundreds—like Apple, Microsoft, and Amazon—all at once. It’s less about chasing winners and more about riding the market’s natural growth.
Why Index Funds Are Perfect for Beginners
Index funds are the go-to choice for new investors, and here’s why:
- Instant Diversification: One fund spreads your money across hundreds of companies, so a single stock’s stumble won’t derail your progress.
- Low Fees: No need for expensive stock-picking experts—index funds keep costs down.
- Set It and Forget It: No market expertise needed. Just invest and let time do the heavy lifting.
- Proven Track Record: Studies show index funds often outperform actively managed funds, making them a reliable path to long-term wealth.
How to Start Investing in Index Funds: A 3-Step Guide
Ready to take control of your financial future? Follow these simple steps to begin your index fund journey.
Step 1: Choose a Brokerage Account
A brokerage account is your gateway to buying index funds. Think of it as your investment dashboard. Here are three top platforms perfect for beginners:
- Vanguard: The pioneer of low-cost index funds. Sign up here.
- Fidelity: Offers zero-fee index funds with no minimums. Get started.
- Charles Schwab: Known for stellar customer support. Open an account.
Pro Tip: Look for platforms with low fees, a variety of funds, and an easy-to-use interface. Most let you start with as little as $1!
Step 2: Pick the Right Index Fund
Once your account is set up, choose a fund that matches your goals:
- S&P 500 Index Funds: Tracks the 500 largest U.S. companies (e.g., Vanguard’s VOO). Perfect for broad market exposure.
- Total Stock Market Index Funds: Includes small, mid, and large-cap stocks (e.g., Schwab’s SWTSX). Maximum diversification.
- International Index Funds: Invests globally (e.g., Fidelity’s FZILX). Adds worldwide balance.
Newbie Hack: Start with an S&P 500 or total market fund for simplicity and growth potential.
Step 3: Make Your First Investment
Now, it’s time to put your money to work:
- Fund Your Account: Transfer as little as $1–$100 to get started.
- Buy Your Fund: Search for your chosen fund (e.g., VOO at Vanguard) and hit “buy.”
- Automate It: Set up automatic investments—like $50 a month—to grow your wealth effortlessly.
Quick Links:
Why Index Funds Are a Smart Choice
- Lower Risk: Diversification cushions you from single-stock disasters.
- Tax-Friendly: Fewer trades mean fewer taxable events.
- Long-Term Gains: With the market’s historical 7–10% annual return, index funds are a retirement-building powerhouse.
Risks to Keep in Mind
No investment is bulletproof. Here’s what to watch:
- Market Swings: When the market dips, so does your fund. But history shows it bounces back.
- No Big Wins: You won’t beat the market—but for most, matching it is a win.
Tips for Index Fund Success
- Invest Regularly: Use dollar-cost averaging to smooth out market highs and lows.
- Diversify Further: Add international or bond funds as your portfolio grows.
- Stay the Course: Don’t panic-sell during downturns. Long-term investors win by holding steady.
Real-Life Success Story: Sarah’s $240,000 Nest Egg
Meet Sarah, a 30-year-old teacher who invested $200 a month in an S&P 500 index fund. After 30 years, her $72,000 in contributions ballooned to over $240,000—thanks to the market’s average 7% return. No stock-picking, no stress—just consistent investing through platforms like Fidelity or Vanguard.
Start Your Investment Journey Today
Index funds are your beginner-friendly path to low-cost, reliable wealth-building. Sign up with a trusted brokerage like Vanguard, Fidelity, or Charles Schwab, pick a fund, and start with as little as $50 a month. The sooner you begin, the more time your money has to grow. Take that first step now—your future self will thank you!
Regarding the Matter of Beautiful Girls Relentlessly Seeking My Body (Experience Points)
“U-Umm… Is it Mr. Mujirushi Tatsuya? A-Are you sure about this…?”
Around the time when the warmth of spring began to be felt, as I was walking home from school on a deserted road, I was suddenly approached by someone.
When I turned around, there was a short person standing there. They were wearing a gray, baggy robe with a large hood pulled over their head, so I couldn’t see their face clearly, but based on the way they spoke, I could tell they reeked of being an introverted shut-in with communication issues. Long hair spilled out from under the hood, extending all the way down to their waist.
“S-Someone has been rumored to be helping people near Shibuya Dungeon… B-But no one would give me any information about it… U-Um, after conducting my own investigation, I thought it might be Mr. Mujirushi Tatsuya… S-Sorry, sorry…”
For some reason, they suddenly started apologizing. Since they gave off a “sketchy person” vibe, I decided to brush them off casually.
“You’ve got the wrong person.”
“E-Eh!? A-Ah, sorry… Um… But I was so sure it was you… Ugh… Why can’t I find him…? Sniff… Master Tatsuya… Where are you…?”
“…”
She started panicking and crying. For some reason, I felt like I’d done something terrible, and guilt washed over me.
I let out a sigh and spoke to her again.
“Haa… Well, actually, that was a lie. It is me, Mujirushi Tatsuya. What do you want?”
“E-Eh!? Y-You really are Master Tatsuya…? W-Why did you lie like that…?”
“Well, because you look suspicious as hell.”
The gray robe, hunched posture, nervous demeanor, and somehow knowing my name—she definitely seemed to have been investigating me. Super sketchy, right?
“A-Ah, s-sorry. Let me introduce myself.”
She rummaged through her pocket and handed me a business card.
“Uh… Aokay Kasumi, member of the Labyrinth Celestial Net Church?”
“Y-Yes, I’m Kasumi Aokay, 21 years old, a member of the Labyrinth Celestial Net Church. Please don’t worry—it’s not anything weird.”
“A religion, huh…”
If anything, this made her seem even more suspicious.
“M-Mr. Mujirushi Tatsuya. I sincerely hope you’ll visit the headquarters of the Labyrinth Celestial Net Church at least once.”
“Um, sorry, but what kind of religion is the Labyrinth Celestial Net Church? Honestly, going to the headquarters of a random religion sounds scary… This isn’t some weird recruitment thing, is it?”
“N-No, absolutely not! W-Well, first, allow me to explain a bit about the Labyrinth Celestial Net Church.”
Aokay took a deep breath to calm herself before speaking again.
“The Labyrinth Celestial Net Church venerates the labyrinth as a divine gift bestowed upon us by our god who resides in heaven. Before labyrinths appeared, women were oppressed and treated as weak beings. To correct this imbalance, the labyrinth emerged and granted women levels, creating equality between men and women. Therefore, we worship the labyrinth and give thanks to the god who created it.”
Wow, she suddenly became quite articulate.
“Haa… And what does the Labyrinth Celestial Net Church want with me? From what you’ve said, it sounds like your group views men as enemies.”
“W-Well, that’s because Master Tatsuya is an apostle sent by our god.”
“Huh?”
An apostle? Me?
“No way, that’s impossible. I just learned about the Labyrinth Celestial Net Church today. I’m just an ordinary guy born to a dentist father and a cooking researcher mother.”
“N-No, Master Tatsuya is truly an apostle. The overwhelming amount of experience points you possess is proof of that. You were sent by god to empower women and eliminate gender inequality.”
“I already told you, that’s not true. Should I go to city hall and get my family registry? Apostles probably don’t have birth certificates, right?”
“T-That appearance of yours is merely a disguise to hide your true identity…”
“Nope, I’ve looked in the mirror countless times since I was born, and I’ve always looked like this. Anyway, can I leave now? I’m hungry and want to eat some dandan noodles.”
“U-Um… C-Couldn’t you please come with me…?”
“No, it’s already evening, and I’ve got things to do. Is this trip a day trip?”
“W-We’re located in Hakone. We’d like you to stay there. O-Of course, we’ll provide for all your needs—food, clothing, shelter—everything.”
“No can do. I’ve got school and work.”
“A-Ah! If you come, we’ll prepare whatever you desire! Anything at all—not limited to money or… w-women!”
Aokay was desperately trying to convince me to go with her. I stared at her intently.
“…Aokay-san. Can you take off your hood?”
“Eep… I-If it’s your command as the apostle…”
When she removed her hood, her face was revealed. Her long hair partially obscured it, but even so, it was clear she had a beautiful face—large, drooping eyes, a small nose, trembling lips due to anxiety, and a noticeably ample chest visible even under the baggy robe.
“Hmm. So you said you’d prepare anything I wanted, right?”
“U-Um… Yes…”
“Even your body?”
“Eek! D-Do you really want my worthless body!? I-I mean… if necessary, then…!!”
After flustering around, Aokay dramatically opened her robe.
“P-Please, take it!”
Her actions screamed exhibitionist, but underneath the robe, she was fully clothed.
“Alright, close your eyes and don’t move, okay?”
“Y-Y-Y-Yes!”
Trembling and closing her eyes, Aokay awkwardly puckered her lips, offering herself.
And so… I left her there and went home.
