“You were the one who poisoned Lady Xue Mei, weren’t you?!”
Hastily, when they rushed to the source of the commotion, they found Xiao Ling, the young attendant, being slapped hard across the face by a fellow lady-in-waiting. Xiao Ling’s eyes filled with tears as she held her cheek.
“Two months ago, His Majesty visited your quarters, so that’s when Lady Xue Mei’s child became an obstacle for you!”
“…That’s not true.”
Xiao Ling trembled, her voice barely a whisper.
“It was Huang Ye who repaired the frayed embroidery. I haven’t touched the outer robe at all.”
“That’s… true, I did repair the outer robe, but poison… no.”
Huang Ye paled.
“Stop arguing!”
Lady Xue Mei’s sharp command echoed. The female attendants, who had been in a frenzy, immediately fell silent.
“There cannot be anyone among my attendants who would poison. So, stop this argument.”
Startled by the loud voice, the child in Xue Mei’s arms, Xing Ru, suddenly began to cry. Everyone awkwardly lowered their gaze. Lady Xue Mei’s voice softened as she continued, trying to remain calm.
“I trust everyone here. I really do. I don’t suspect anyone, even a little.”
She is strong. Fei Ling thought, impressed, biting her lip. Foolishness and strength are sometimes paper-thin. But those moved by foolish compassion do exist.
“…I… I’m so sorry.”
Unable to bear the guilt, Xiao Ling collapsed to her knees. Curling up, she pressed her forehead to the ground, her voice now a desperate cry louder than the child’s wailing.
“It was me! I, I poisoned… Your Highness…”
Lady Xue Mei was deeply shaken and asked, almost pleading, “This is a lie, right?” But Xiao Ling’s tears told the truth—she had been the one who poisoned the lady she had faithfully served.
“But… but I only intended to harm the child. I… I never meant to put you, Lady Xue Mei, in danger.”
(She is making excuses, though there is no excuse for poisoning.)
She had underestimated the poison too much. Poison is meant to harm, to take lives. It’s not something that can be handled so carelessly. Even poison experts face the danger of being consumed by their own toxins.
“…Xing Ru,”
For some reason, Lady Xue Mei handed Xing Ru over to Fei Ling.
Then, moving toward Xiao Ling, Lady Xue Mei raised her arm and slapped Xiao Ling’s head with great force. Xiao Ling’s eyes widened, her face contorted like a child being scolded, and she cried out in sobs.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
Lady Xue Mei sighed heavily before squatting down to meet her gaze.
“If you’re making excuses, speak properly. I’ll listen to you.”
“…Because I was envious. I’ve always envied you, Lady Xue Mei. I, too, was supposed to be born as a good daughter of a noble family.”
Xiao Ling began to speak slowly about her past.
“My family was once quite wealthy because my ancestors succeeded in business. But my father, who took over, lacked business acumen. By the time I could understand things, our family was already in decline… When my older brother’s reckless spending finally drained our fortune, I came to the capital to work. I studied relentlessly, not even resting, and passed the exams to become a lady-in-waiting. I finally entered the inner palace… and later, I was chosen to serve Lady Xue Mei, and I could send a large sum of money back to my family.”
She paused, biting her lip as she reflected.
“It was more than enough.”
Xiao Ling didn’t harbor hatred toward Lady Xue Mei. The words she had told Fei Ling about Lady Xue Mei being a kind-hearted person were true. She had admired Lady Xue Mei—despite her jealous feelings.
“But when the Emperor visited, I thought there might be a chance for me, too… and then…”
Her voice weakened. She pulled at her disheveled hair, her fingers digging into her tear-streaked cheek.
“The words my family has repeated since I was little… they kept echoing in my head.”
“What did they say to you as you grew up?”
“They said, ‘Repay the debt of the life we gave you.'”
“Ah, that’s a curse.”
No matter how much you struggle, it is an inescapable, rusted chain of blood.
“Marry the best match for the family’s sake. That’s the only reason daughters are born and raised. Honestly, I could have discarded you right after you were born. The reason I punished you without leaving any scars was for that.”
The tips of the nails digging into her cheek were curled, and while they didn’t leave a mark, her heart was full of wounds.
“If I could gain the Emperor’s favor, perhaps… perhaps my family would… love me, love me too, I thought.”
In the end, she couldn’t form any more words.
Lady Xue Mei silently listened, then, opening her crimson sleeves, she pulled Xiao Ling into her embrace.
“It must have been painful.”
Tears spilled from Lady Xue Mei’s eyes.
“As far as the family is concerned, a woman is just a decorative offering. A decorative branch that only becomes useful when picked. But, in truth, even if she’s not displayed in a man’s chamber, the flower blooms desperately in the wilds or in the forest.”
Having spoken up to that point, Lady Xue Mei sealed her lips as if tasting something bitter and quietly smiled. It was the same for her.
She had been raised as an offering, trained to dance, and even now, she was still displayed in the harem like a flower in a cage, forced to bloom until withering.
So, she could not continue that thought.
She could only pray. Wishing things could have been different, wishing for things to have been so.
“…I’m with child. I’ve been blessed with the Emperor’s child.”
Though it was hard to tell because her waistband was tightened around her chest, when Xiao Ling pressed her robe down, it was clear that her belly was swollen.
“Yes. I’m happy for you. I will bless you.”
“Will you really bless me?”
“Of course.”
“Oh… what have I done?”
Feeling the touch of Lady Xue Mei’s magnanimous heart, Xiao Ling seemed to recoil at the baseness of her own actions, having poisoned her. She shook her head.
“—Excuse me, Xiao Ling.”
Fei Ling, who had been quietly observing, now felt that there was something she had to clarify.
And it was something only Fei Ling could do now.
“The Emperor visited two months ago, right? The pregnancy is already too advanced. Has the court physician confirmed your pregnancy?”
“…I haven’t seen the physician yet.”
Fei Ling, as she had expected, pursed her lips in disappointment. She handed Xing Ru to Lan Xin , then turned to Xiao Ling.
“May I confirm it?”
There was no chance to refuse.
Taking Xiao Ling’s pulse, Fei Ling quietly made her pronouncement.
“…I’m sorry, but there is no child. It appears to be a false pregnancy.”
“That’s a lie. But… it’s here, I’m sure…”
Xiao Ling slapped away Fei Ling’s arm and pressed her swollen belly. Her lips, purple from being clenched too tightly, trembled. The emotions of despair, sorrow, confusion, and doubt passed through her eyes like waves.
Lady Xue Mei was speechless.
The other female attendants couldn’t bring themselves to speak to Xiao Ling either and only lowered their heads.
But suddenly, someone broke the heavy silence. It was the cry of the infant longing for its mother. Lan Xin could do nothing and passed Xing Ru to Lady Xue Mei. Lady Xue Mei hugged the restless Xing Ru and whispered softly, “Mother is here.”
“I see… so that’s what happened.”
Had Xiao Ling come to accept the reality, she quietly let her shoulders slump.
“This is for the best. I’ve always been a tool for my family. But now, I almost made my child a tool too. I was about to give birth for that reason. So, it’s good that this belly is empty…”
She tried to force a smile but failed and collapsed into sobs. Lady Xue Mei wrapped her arms around Xiao Ling’s shoulders, and the other attendants gently rubbed her back. No one could bring themselves to continue blaming her.
After Xiao Ling had calmed down, Huang Ye brought rose tea for her. The scent of foreign roses filled the air. Rose tea is known for its calming effects.
“I’d like to ask you something—how did you acquire that poison?”
Xiao Ling looked around cautiously and lowered her voice.
“When I was troubled, an arrow letter came. Inside, there was a silver thread of poison and instructions on how to use it. The wooden slip said to burn it, so I disposed of it right away… but the handwriting was rough enough that I could barely read it.”
Fei Ling nodded, but she was surprised. She glanced at Lan Xin . When the Empress had delivered poison to Lan Xin , she had used the female attendants of the noble palaces. Female attendants from noble palaces rarely interacted with attendants from other palaces. But this time, it was an arrow—one written in rough handwriting.
(There are many attendants and eunuchs in the harem who can’t read, but surely there wouldn’t be someone from a noble palace who can’t read and write.)
Lan Xin , blissfully unaware of Fei Ling’s thoughts, happily munched on the plum branches served with the rose tea.
(Someone else used Xiao Ling to try to kill Lady Xue Mei.)
A faint fire began to burn in her chest.
A single blossom of tea-scented camellia, adorned in white porcelain, fluttered and fell.
