A silence as brief as the passing of a single breeze settled between them, before words spilled out.
“I’m used to it, you know?”
He had seen how she interacted with the concubines. How she was threatened and insulted by the patients she saved. But such things had happened over and over before.
“I’m someone people find burdensome,” she said with practiced ease.
And besides, she was used to not being praised. Patients might thank her, but that wasn’t the same as being complimented.
Her mother had been someone who never praised her.
No matter how quickly Fei Ling mastered new knowledge, memorized difficult texts perfectly, or prepared complex medicines without a single flaw, her mother would simply say, “Of course you can. You’re the daughter of Bai Ze.”
Ah, so that’s why his praise had made her so happy. Even just a spoonful of kindness.
“I know. You’re not the type to get hurt by something like this. It’s because you don’t get hurt that you’re so pitiable.”
Zhen reached out to touch her silver-threaded hair. For a moment, she thought a flower petal might have landed on it, but no—it seemed he was simply winding strands of her hair around his fingers and playing idly.
“Shall I kill them for you? All those who have disrespected you?”
His unsettling words were delivered with unfaltering calm.
“…The inner palace would be almost empty if you did.”
“I wouldn’t mind. Let it fall apart. There’s far too much of it anyway. Do you know how much public money this place consumes?”
He wasn’t joking. If she so desired, Zhen would undoubtedly kill the concubines. He was more than capable.
“Even so, I don’t want that.”
“I see. You really are like medicine, through and through.”
He chuckled softly.
A twilight wind blew past, carrying snowflakes in its wake. Snow settled on her lashes, but the chill that ran down her spine wasn’t due to the cold alone.
Zhen’s gaze darkened.
The stillness they’d shared so far suddenly felt like the calm before a storm.
“You said you had no intention of looking for the one who poisoned the late Emperor. That you wouldn’t seek vengeance with poison.”
“…That’s right. Because I’m medicine, after all.”
She would not become poison. That was her guiding principle.
“How beautiful you are.”
Zhen leaned in close, peering into her eyes as if whispering venom.
“But deep down, you’re scared, aren’t you?”
Fei Ling gasped.
It felt like his fingers had slipped between her ribs, touching something that no one should ever reach. A primal fear surged through her. She tried to push him away on reflex, but he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist and trapping her.
“You don’t want to look for them. You’re scared because once you know, you won’t be able to stay medicine anymore.”
“That’s not true. I—”
“Shall I tell you, then?”
His venomous gaze glittered.
“Who poisoned the late Emperor? I know who it was.”
“…You’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
The dull, snow-filled twilight was at his back, and his poisonous smile was the only thing vivid. Though his words were cruel, his eyes remained filled with affection. That only confused Fei Ling more.
She had thought about it before.
About finding the one who poisoned her father and destroyed his soul.
But she had given up. Even if she sought vengeance, the late Emperor would not return, and her mother would never smile again. But, deep down…
In the depths of her eyes, a fierce flame burned. The resentment she had carried for so long ignited.
“No. The one I hate is my father, who spread poison—”
“It’s easy to hate the dead. But if that’s all you do, you’ll just keep starving.”
In Zhen’s eyes, Fei Ling’s gaze reflected back at her, desolate and broken.
The late Emperor had hungered—for what, she didn’t know. And now, so did Fei Ling.
(I am starving for poison.)
A thin, trembling cry nearly escaped her throat, but before it could, Zhen clicked his tongue softly and pushed her away as though releasing her.
“Fei Ling-sama!”
A voice called out, and when she turned quickly, someone was climbing the stairs in a flurry. It was a court lady, with twin braids and a freckled face that Fei Ling recognized.
“You’re… the one who serves Lady Xue-Mei, aren’t you?”
It was Xiao-Lin, wasn’t it? She collapsed at Fei Ling’s feet, clinging to her desperately.
“Lady Xue-Mei… Please, please save her!”
