No, there were others who came too, you know? Yuki’s dad, Grace’s dad. Even the Carenheit Margrave showed up. But everyone only talked about safe topics.
When it comes to big-name nobles, they tend to have conservative thinking, so they probably don’t want to get too deeply involved with someone like me, who’s basically a walking time bomb.
So far, none of them have initiated any specific business deals or contracts.
Oh, and Grace’s dad said some really nasty things, but when I told him, ‘If you’ve got complaints, come at me!’ he ran away. Pretty funny, huh?
The ones who come to see me are basically always mid-tier nobles with some kind of issue.
They’re the types who want to turn their fortunes around in one stroke.
From those, I sort out the ones who seem useful and cut off the incompetent ones.
Ah, it’s like being in the HR department with no responsibility! It’s way too much fun!
”Young Exus, why have you portioned out the food here? This way, one can only take a single bite at a time, you know?”
”Huh? Old man Carenheit, even if you feel young at heart, your stomach’s already an old man’s, right? You can’t eat that much anymore, can you? So, isn’t it better to eat a little of something tasty and try many different kinds?”
”Ho ho ho, well, I must admit, you’re right… Could I perhaps borrow this style for the next party at my domain?”
”Now that you’ve seen it here, someone’s bound to copy it somewhere. Do whatever you want.”
”Ho ho ho, thank you kindly.”
This is my first time meeting him, but the Carenheit Margrave seems like such a kind old man.
”Ahh, what a shame. If I had known you’d be so capable, I should have taken you away from that territory earlier.”
He said this while sipping the mead nectar I told him was a specialty of the Raven territory.
”Hmm… What a waste, what a waste… Even now, wouldn’t you consider becoming one of my vassals? Oh, I’ll give you Margaret from the Gardners, too.”
Wow, it’s hilarious how he’s so casually trying to sell off one of his subordinates.
”Oh? You’re offering me a woman?! Nice! …But by the way, I’m kind of into ryona, you know? I’ve always wanted to try cutting off a woman’s arms and legs in the middle of the city and letting goblins have their way with her!”
”Ho ho ho, you’re quite twisted. But that’s fine. If it means I can have you on my side, I don’t mind sacrificing one subordinate.”
Oh, I see. So this old man is that type.
”Old man. I’m basically a narcissist who looks down on everyone other than myself…”
”Yes, I’ve gathered as much.”
”…Still, it’s not like I hate other people. You’re the kind of person I like. I think we’d get along.”
”Ho ho ho, well, I’m honored to hear that.”
This old man really is a proper lord. He’s completely put aside personal feelings and only plays for profit.
”Man, that muscle-brained idiot of a king sure made an interesting choice appointing someone like you as a margrave! You’d switch sides to the enemy if things went south, wouldn’t you?”
”How rude. I simply prioritize the subordinates and citizens who follow me with loyalty.”
Haha! He never said he wouldn’t betray anyone!
And this is the same guy who just a moment ago was trying to sell his loyal subordinate to me with that same mouth!
This is fun. I’ll have to keep in touch with him.
As I was having these unromantic conversations with old men and geezers…
”Lord Exus, you’re here after all.”
…a princess appeared.
”Oh, it’s Drill-chan! You’re looking as drill-y as ever!”
”…Are you complimenting me?”
”No, I’m thinking it doesn’t matter much.”
‘…I see. So, what can I do to have an enjoyable conversation with you?’
”Huh…? How should I know? Figure it out yourself.”
”Oh, by the way, my name is Elizabeth. Please call me Ellie, won’t you?”
”Sure, Drill-chan.”
”Muu…!”
Drill-chan puffed out her cheeks.
”You’re only getting away with that because you’re still twelve. But once you hit thirty, trying to act all cutesy like that is just the darkness of this world, a distortion of the universe.”
Now then…
‘So? What do you want?’
”Yes! Lord Exus, please become my friend!”
‘‘No way, you idiot.’’
‘How cruel…’
Huh?
Is this one of those loops where it keeps going until I say yes?
Should I just kill her? Should I kill her already?
“You… You scoundrel! I’ve been listening to you for a while now! You’re being rude to the princess—gyah!”
Some idiot jumped into the conversation from the side, but unfortunately for them, this world isn’t some debate-bot anime. I immediately sent him flying with kinetic magic. I’m not rocking a perm, but sleek, straight hair instead.
In fact, if anything, this world is more like, “Only those prepared to be shot at are allowed to shoot,” right?
At least, I hope that’s how it works.
If I were doused in the nonsense spewed by the bald old man’s terrible choices of women, I’m confident even I would go mad from the stress.
Honestly, it’s all about the purple-haired lieutenant.
In that world, either the normal women are ugly or the beautiful ones are a mess of mental issues.
“Exus-sama… that was too much…”
Drill Girl, her face twitching, said that, but I ignored her and kept eating my donut.
French crullers are the best, after all!
“If you’re going to stay around me, get used to it. At the very least, if you can’t handle this, you don’t have the right to stand by my side.”
With that, I stirred some milk into my tea.
“By the way, let’s get serious for a second. This country is a feudal system, right? Not an absolute monarchy. So, the royal family is just the strongest and most prominent noble, nothing more.”
I added a sugar cube to my tea.
“So, really, there’s no need to force ourselves to prop up the royal family, right? Wouldn’t it be better if everyone just did whatever they wanted?”
I took a sip of tea.
“But… without legitimacy, it wouldn’t work. The royal family is the rightful ruler, having received their authority from God. Therefore, it would be impossible for lords without that divine mandate to become independent…”
Drill Girl started spouting something, but I didn’t care.
“That’s the official story, right? To borrow a famous argument from an old internet debate: ‘Do you have any data to support that?’ This right granted by some god, who may or may not even exist? That’s nonsense, don’t you think?”
“God certainly exists, doesn’t He?”
“Well, do you have any data on that? Ever met God? When is He going to smite me?”
“T-that’s…”
“For example, I can do something like this.”
I created an illusion of a divine figure, shining brightly, making it appear as if I were being blessed.
“W-what is this? A magic that shows illusions…?”
“Exactly, it’s an illusion. But if I did this on a large scale and claimed ‘I was blessed by God,’ you guys wouldn’t have any way to disprove it, would you?”
“Th-that would be… true.”
“If that’s the case, then it’s all about whoever says it first. You could destroy royal authority easily. That’s why I’m saying the royal family is meaningless.”
“But! But the church—!”
“In that case, I’d just throw a god-like illusion over the church’s territory and declare, ‘The church has defied God’s will, and divine punishment shall befall them!’ Then fire off some forbidden magic to wipe them out. We’d win.”
Drill Girl’s face turned pale.
Maybe she’s despairing over realizing that her position is so fragile?
Well, I couldn’t care less.
“So… what do you intend to do?”
Drill Girl asked, her voice strained.
What do I intend to do?
“Nothing, really. I’m just going to ignore the pointless royal family and church and do whatever I want. Honestly, I’m more curious why everyone doesn’t do that already.”
“P-pointless…? The things we’ve built up until now…?”
“Yeah, it’s pointless, isn’t it? Do you really think that idiot king is seriously running the country… I mean, when are people going to realize that as long as you have a decent bureaucratic system, the country can function just fine without a king?”
A king with immense power? A genius politician? We don’t need that.
As long as you have a well-organized bureaucracy, you don’t need some one-man-show politician.
In fact, society isn’t something that can be fixed by one highly competent dictator.
Having a bunch of reasonably competent people is the best setup.
Authority or whatever, that kind of stuff changes depending on the values of the times, right?
What’s more important is practical ability, something that never changes regardless of the era.
“Are you saying that ability matters more than noble blood?”
“Exactly. And it’s precisely because we didn’t focus on ability that this country is in such a mess.”
Thanks to that obsession with bloodlines, we’ve got a brainless fool as king…
