It seems that the royal castle has quite a few master healers. The king was treated immediately, changed out of his blood-soaked, hole-ridden clothes, and appeared before me again.
“Wow! You got me good! You’re really strong, huh?”
Oh? He’s still not giving up.
No, he’s not the type to give up.
He’s probably just plain stupid.
He’s like the protagonist of a shounen manga.
“Hey, hurry up and give me my reward.”
“Come on! Let me hear more about that awesome magic of yours first!”
“Give me the reward.”
“Tch, fine, fine… For saving my daughter, I, Exus Raven, grant you the title of ‘Baron’…”
Huh?
“I don’t want it! Don’t throw garbage at me! Give me money, money!”
A noble title from this crappy country? That’s like a punishment, isn’t it?
Why would I be happy to get a ticket onto a sinking ship?!
“Hmm. You don’t want the title?”
“Do I really have to say ‘I don’t want garbage’ twice for you to understand?”
“Are you insulting this country?”
“Huh? You seriously thought it hadn’t been insulted already? You alright in the head?”
“You… That was way out of line. A noble title is far more valuable and significant than you seem to think.”
The king, who was acting like a shounen manga protagonist, suddenly switched to a serious tone and expression, but the so-called “weight” of this title is lighter than helium when you’re just throwing it around like that.
So which one is the real you?
Are you pretending to be an idiot but actually a dignified king? Is this some kind of character development? Gross.
Well, either way, whether he acts smart or dumb, he’s still a useless piece of trash, so I don’t care.
“So what? Wanna fight again? Actually, it wouldn’t even be a fight, would it? I’d just beat you to death.”
“You… You’re strong, sure. But humans can only accomplish so much with their own strength.”
“I completely agree. Humans are capable of achieving great things through cooperation. My own skills and knowledge are thanks to the efforts of those who came before me.”
Well, that’s true.
I’m confident I can do most things, but I’m not capable of everything in the world.
Even if I believe I’m versatile, that doesn’t mean the world runs smoothly on just being able to handle things moderately well.
“Then…”
“But… you guys are all trying to make me cooperate unilaterally! Cooperation? Sure, I’ll cooperate—with the subordinates I raised myself! Why the hell should I help you useless, deadweight pieces of garbage?!”
That’s the point here!
I said it! I finally said it!
Ah, that feels so good!
I’ve wanted to say that for so long!
All the unnecessary trouble I’ve had to deal with up until now is because of people like you!!!
Most of my hardships as a kid were because of my useless father, but if you trace it back, it’s all because of the idiot king who made him a noble!
It wasn’t just me who suffered because of the morons you sent. Everyone in that domain suffered!
And now, just because I was a little strong in this “magical playfight,” this “dueling game,” you’re tossing this “precious title” at me without considering actual ability!!!
I’ve had enough of this crap!!!
You’re spewing garbage, you piece of trash!!!
While I was feeling satisfied with my outburst…
“Please, reconsider. Could you not accept it?”
A handsome silver-haired kid spoke to me.
I’m more handsome, but this guy is decent-looking, I guess.
“Excuse me, I am Gilbert Silbern Biltrion, the second prince.”
I see.
“I understand your point. But, you see, we have our own reasons. Actually, never mind. I’m sure you hate discussions like this, right?”
“Yeah, I hate them.”
“Let me be clear, then. The title is merely nominal. There’s no benefit or loss in it for you.”
Hmm, if that’s the case, then I suppose it’s fine.
“You understand why we need to give someone as powerful as you a title, right? Otherwise, it would raise questions.”
True, that makes sense.
A person with great abilities but no rank or title would seem odd.
“Furthermore, without a title, you’d become an easy target for foreign nations and attract the wrong kind of attention. It would be like flies swarming you, and no one likes that, right?”
Exactly, that’s completely reasonable.
“So, what do you think? Would you accept the title as a form of pest control? It’s a win-win, wouldn’t you say?”
Hmm, that makes sense.
“Draw up a contract. I’ll review it first.”
“I’m glad you understand, Lord Exus.”
So there are people I can reason with after all.
However…
“Wait! I haven’t given my approval!”
A voice interrupted from the side.
“What is the meaning of this, Gilbert? You bypassed me, the first prince Emilion, and even went over the king’s head to negotiate? Who do you think you are?!”
A second silver-haired giant appeared.
The king is a middle-aged man with short silver hair and a beard, but this guy is younger and beardless.
“First of all! What kind of attitude is that?! The king may be forgiving, but I am not! What’s this about a title? For your defiance and disrespect, you should be severely punished for treason and contempt…”
Well, what he’s saying is correct, but…
“I just don’t like your attitude.”
“You… Ack?!”
I lifted the first prince into the air with kinetic magic.
The first prince, clutching his neck, turned as red as a boiled octopus, struggling as if an invisible giant were gripping his throat.
“Hey, King, I did two things, right? I have two accomplishments: ‘revitalizing the economy with the game consoles’ and ‘rescuing the princess.'”
“Y-yes?”
“So, you rewarded me for ‘rescuing the princess’ with a barony. Then, for the other reward, I want this.”
“W-what is it?”
“Pardon me for the rudeness I’m about to commit.”
With that, I fired kinetic magic bullets at the first prince. Over and over again. In rapid succession.
“B-bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang baaaaang!!!!!!”
And just like in a battle manga where characters hit each other with mental visions, I pummeled the first prince into a ragged mess…
Then, I unzipped my pants…
Whip.
And peed.
Aah, a young body really is the best! The stream is so clean.
It was always tough when I got older—feeling like there was still some left in my bladder even after I finished.
I really need to develop magic to stop aging soon…
Alright, time to head home!
