“――So, I went for an exam today.”
“What do you mean by that…?”
“You went to the hospital, that’s admirable.”
The day after the exam, I immediately started streaming, explaining yesterday’s events while drinking alcohol. Of course, I kept the names of Mr. Budo and Dr. Tsubugane anonymous. Even though I was drunk, I had to be careful there. Mr. Budo probably wouldn’t mind, but Dr. Tsubugane might.
Still, the elf effect is amazing… just yesterday I had three viewers, and now I have over 30,000. Half happy, half confused. No, maybe I’m about 2/5 happy?
“I went through various tests—blood tests, MRIs, and they checked everything. By the end, I felt like a lab animal.”
“That’s not entirely untrue, is it?”
“What kind of checks are we talking about, exactly?”
“Who’s asking?”
If I explained everything, I might get banned!
Anyway, after talking for a bit, my throat got dry, so I quenched it with some Black Kirishima whiskey, then ate some stewed beef tendon I had prepared. The rich broth from the beef tendon is just amazing. I could eat it all day. Maybe I’ll even make udon with it later.
“Showing off, huh?”
“Did you make it yourself?”
“Haha! Of course, it’s homemade! I’ve got an electric pressure cooker, you know!”
“Those are really handy.”
“I’d love to taste George’s homemade food!”
“Don’t call me ‘George-chan.’ I was a guy, alright?”
“A guy calling another guy ‘chan’ is pretty cringy, huh?”
“By the way, the meat’s okay for you, right?”
“No problem at all.”
Elves are often portrayed as vegetarians in fiction, but I have no aversion to eating meat. In fact, I even crave it. Eating meat, or fish for that matter, doesn’t make me feel sick at all.
“Now that I’ve had a drink, I bet you’re all curious about the test results, right?”
“You know it!”
“Hurry up and spill it!”
“Please, no vomiting on stream!”
I’m definitely not going to puke on stream. That would be a black history moment.
Now, about the results. I double-checked with Dr. Tsubugane, and it’s okay to talk about them. He said it’s up to me whether I share the details.
“First of all, am I really an elf, or just a poor guy whose ears grew longer and got a TS disease?”
“Wait, didn’t your A-card have a species section?”
“I thought that was useless, but could it be…?”
“Yep, I’m an elf!”
When I updated my A-card at the hospital, the “Species: Human” section had changed to “Species: Elf,” and my gender switched from male to female. Since A-cards can’t be faked, I’m pretty sure it’s accurate.
“You’re so nonchalant about it, haha.”
“So you’re the first elf in human history? I wonder if I could become one too?”
“Just so you know, I don’t have any information to share, alright? I bet on Twitter and YouTube there’s already tons of videos of people frying magical mushrooms in tempura and drinking with them.”
“Exactly!”
“Not just in Japan, but overseas too!”
“Though overseas, they fry them instead of making tempura.”
I became an elf simply because I won a lottery for magical mushrooms. I don’t know how astronomically rare it was, but it has nothing to do with eating tempura or drinking. If that’s how it worked, someone else would’ve become an elf before me.
“Next thing I found out is that I’m still me—George, the same person.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, my DNA information before I became an elf matches the DNA of me as an elf.”
“Ah, so it’s possible that only your body swapped with an elf from another world, but your mind stayed the same?”
“Another world, huh? Yeah, right.”
This result was a huge relief. If this body belonged to someone else, I wouldn’t want to hurt it. But now that I know it’s mine, it’s a bit easier to accept.
“Also, I’m perfectly healthy. No harmful bacteria found that could harm humanity. My A-card also says I’m in good health.”
“You could’ve been quarantined or even killed on the spot.”
“Don’t say stuff like that!?”
Dr. Tsubugane jokingly said that if I were quarantined, they’d be able to do all kinds of experiments on me. But his eyes were totally not hiding the excitement. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t joking!
Let’s wash that off with some more booze. This high-proof stuff really warms me up.
“What about your skills? Have they increased?”
“Tell us!”
“I want to know!”
“I can’t really say much about it, but yeah, I’ve gained some.”
When forming a party to dive into a dungeon, skill sharing is necessary, but it’s generally not encouraged to share your skills freely. There are people who will try to take advantage of that information, after all. Even though some people openly broadcast their skills just for attention, I’m not going to do that. I’ve gained some special skills since becoming an elf, and I’m not about to reveal them easily.
“Yeah, that makes sense.”
“But you’re an elf, so I bet you have archery skills, right?”
“Elves are all about long-range combat, right?”
Well, that’s about it. My glass is almost empty, and there’s only a few pieces of konnyaku left in the beef tendon stew.
There are a lot of questions coming in the comments, but I don’t feel like answering them all. If I did, it’d never end.
“Alright, time to wrap up the stream! Tomorrow, I’m going to check out a dungeon!”
“Oh, dungeon stream, huh?”
“I’m excited!”
“Sorry, no dungeon stream! This is a drinking channel!”
There were a lot of boos in the comments, but I’m not changing my mind, so they can deal with it. Honestly, who could explore a dungeon alone while holding a camera? You need a proper team and people who know what they’re doing!
“Alright then, this is George’s drinking stream, signing off!”
