“Are you going to take me to the hospital?”
“Of course! I saw on Twitter that you were drinking, weren’t you?”
“You’ve got a point.”
I hadn’t intended to drive under the influence anyway—never drink and drive. But it seems that Take Michi found out I had turned into an elf from Twitter’s trending topics. I haven’t seen the video, but apparently, there was about ten seconds of me on camera before I became an elf. As for the live feed after that, it seems the whole thing was uploaded. Wait a second—are people not interested in me as a guy?
“That said, there’s a bit of a problem.”
“Reporting to the government or something?”
“Wow, you’re sharp. Honestly, I don’t think we can hide this forever.”
“Well, that’s fine. Sooner or later, people will figure out that I’m the elf. Wouldn’t it leave a better impression if I just came clean and reported it myself?”
Trouble is sure to come my way, but hiding in fear is worse. Besides, even if I report this to the government, only the higher-ups are likely to hear about it.
So, we decided to go to the hospital. But… hmm, my clothes are all baggy. Thankfully, there’s no risk of any wardrobe malfunction for now, so this will have to do. Oh, right, now that I’m a woman, I’ll have to think about things like bras. Ugh, the expenses are going to be scary.
“Alright, I contacted the doctor. Let’s go. You’ve got your A-card, right?”
“It’s in my wallet.”
The Adventurer Card, or A-card for short, is essentially a license for adventurers. It’s necessary for entering dungeons, but it’s also used at public facilities like hospitals and city halls. Scanning it lets authorities access the holder’s information. Pretty impressive, right? And get this—it can store the equipment you use in dungeons. Of course, you can’t take the equipment out outside of a dungeon. They’re deadly weapons, so that’s only natural.
My weapon is a shortsword. That said, I’m not the type to actively fight monsters. My main activities are gathering herbs and minerals or setting traps for weaker monsters. The sword mostly comes out just to finish the job.
“Hmm, you probably shouldn’t show those ears until we’re inside the hospital. Do you have something like a winter cap that covers your ears?”
“As if I’d have something that convenient. Oh, but wait—look what I found!”
I grabbed a paper bag and cut holes in it. The scissors glided through smoothly, leaving slightly uneven edges. With the two holes ready, I put it on! It rubs my ears a little, but it doesn’t hurt, so it’s manageable. Time to show Take Michi how I look.
“Take Michi!”
“Whoa! Oh, it’s just a paper bag. Well, I guess that’s the best you can do right now. Still, what a ridiculous look. Anyway, the doctor’s waiting—let’s go. Oh, almost forgot! We need something with your DNA from before you turned into a guy!”
“How about some loose hair?”
“The roots have to be intact. Oh, how about a toothbrush?”
“Sorry, I just brushed my teeth! I’ve got a tissue from a nosebleed, though.”
“That’ll do!”
And so, I got in Take Michi’s car and headed to the hospital.
“Just so you know, don’t go off with strangers, okay? Actually, that goes for women too now.”
“You sound like my mom.”
“Mr. Kihara, this is Dr. Tsubugane Kurenko. Dr. Tsubugane, this is Joji Kihara, the person who turned into an elf, as I mentioned over the phone.”
“Wow! When Take Michi called, I thought it was just a hoax, but you really brought an elf! Friends like this are worth their weight in gold!”
What’s with this eccentric doctor? She’s got a great face, but the huge dark circles under her eyes give off a vibe of barely restrained madness. People like this actually exist?
She’s staring. Writing something on a clipboard while circling me. Okay, this is officially the most terrifying thing about becoming an elf.
“Take Michi, I really don’t want to follow this stranger.”
“Give her a break! She’s eccentric, but she’s competent, I swear!”
“Those ears! Fascinating ears! Can you move them? Show me!”
She’s so pushy! If not for Take Michi’s recommendation, I’d have bolted already. I moved my ears as instructed, and she got even more excited.
“Hmm, aside from your ears, there don’t seem to be many differences compared to humans. But these ears—they’re so intriguing! How did this happen? The curiosity is killing me!”
“Uh-huh…”
“If it were just a change in sex, I’d say it’s TS Syndrome. But for your entire race to change? Unheard of! Let’s start some tests! Oh, by the way, I’ll need various samples for research. Don’t mind, do you?”
She suddenly circled behind me and grabbed my shoulders. Excuse me, this is terrifying? You’re not planning to conduct some mad experiments, are you?
Am I going to make it out of this hospital alive?
When I get home, I’m going to drink like there’s no tomorrow…!
