Switch Mode

Chapter 21

"When home delivery arrives, it really makes you use your nerves in various ways, doesn’t it?"

“Yo! Kihara-san, got your delivery here! …Hmm? These are package lockers? Two of the biggest ones I’ve ever seen? …You want me to put them in here? Seriously? Oh, and there’s refrigerated stuff too. Wait, there’s a note. Let’s see… ‘I’ll pick them up right away, so just leave them as is. If anything spoils, it’s not your responsibility.’ …Well, if the client says so? And I don’t want to deal with redelivery, so I’ll go along with it! Alright, signature’s done, all good!”

Once the sound of the delivery truck faded into the distance, I sprang into action from where I’d been hiding silently in the hallway near the door. Beside me, Aurora, clearly amused by my spy-like behavior, had taken up a prone position for reasons beyond me.

“Alright, they’re gone. GOGO!”

“—!”

Playing the part of a soldier storming into enemy territory, I dashed outside, retrieved the two large, package-filled lockers, and rushed them back inside. Quick as lightning, I tell you—didn’t even take five seconds! Setting the lockers down in the hallway, I noticed their weight; clearly, there was quite a lot packed in there.

Phew, that delivery guy’s laid-back attitude really saved me this time. You’re technically not supposed to leave refrigerated items in package lockers. If he’d refused, I’d have had to either beg Mr. Take Michi to accept them for me or face my fears and take the delivery head-on. Better think of a good strategy for next time, though.

“Alright, let’s see what we’ve got!”

“—!”

I picked up the lockers and carried them to the streaming room for easier unpacking. Not that I’d stream the unboxing live, of course—no way I’m risking accidental exposure to something adult or grotesque mid-stream. The internet can be a terrifying place. I powered down my PC and prepared to open the lockers.

“Whoa, there’s a ton of stuff here…”

“—♪”

Normally, I get maybe one to four small packages from Amazon—standard stuff. But this time? At least twenty items. Recognizable among them were the things I’d ordered myself: cartoonish meat on the bone, sausage-shaped mosquito coils, booze, and charcoal—along with some aurora-themed furniture and clothing. Everything else? Anonymous senders. These must be gifts from viewers, inspired by the wish list I mentioned during my last stream.

Big, small, long, thin—what did they send me? Honestly, it’s a little scary. Leaving them boxed up is equally unsettling, so let’s start with the essentials. First, the meat and sausages go in the fridge. Oh, the meat’s wrapped in newspaper—guess I’ll save unwrapping it for a stream.

“Alright, time to start unpacking.”

“—♪”

“Hold up, Aurora. I know you’re excited, but let me check everything first, okay? No opening stuff on your own.”

“—!?”

The utter disappointment on Aurora’s face was almost comical, like a lightning bolt of shock had struck her. Sorry, Aurora. As much as you love booze and have the palate of a grown human, your innocence is still that of a child! And while you might handle gore just fine, adult stuff is off-limits. I have to protect that sacred boundary.

“Look, it’s just common sense—someone in charge has to check the packages first.”

“—!”

“Here, this box has the clothes you picked out. Why don’t you look at that?”

“—♪”

She agreed so quickly. Seriously? That was easy. I hope this gullibility is reserved for me and doesn’t lead her to fall for any dubious comments online…

With Aurora engrossed in her box of clothes, I opened the first package. Oh no. This massage device—yeah, I’ve seen this before. Classic viewer prank. Thank goodness I’m not streaming right now, and even better, Aurora didn’t see it. Quickly resealed it with tape. Crisis averted.

Next, a smaller box. Surely, it won’t be weird two in a row… right?

“This is… clothes?”

Inside were several pieces of clothing, all doll-sized. So these are for Aurora. Someone even included a note: ‘Made this for Aurora! Hope she’ll wear it on stream! From, Fumimaru.’

No way. They actually made this? I thought it was store-bought! The quality’s incredible—easily good enough to sell. Alright, this one’s safe for Aurora to see.

“Aurora! Clothes for you!”

“—♪”

Before I could finish my sentence, Aurora dove headfirst into the box. She seemed thrilled, holding the outfits up to herself and grinning. Watching her delight, I briefly thought, “Did I even need to buy her clothes myself?” But no, that’s a bad thought. Forget it.

“Hey, how about a fashion show during our next camping stream?”

“—!—♪”

And so, the unboxing continued…

After sorting everything, the haul broke down like this:

  • 6th place (tie): Fan art, workout equipment
  • 5th place: Clothes for me (including cosplay)
  • 4th place: Adult items (seriously, viewers, ever heard of harassment?)
  • 3rd place: Clothes for Aurora (including cosplay)
  • 2nd place: Booze
  • 1st place: Snacks

Viewers, I’ve got a message for you: “Fourth place?! Do you even know what harassment means?!”


TS Elf’s Drinking Stream Just Because I Drink a Lot Doesn’t Mean I’m a Dwarf, Okay!?

TS Elf’s Drinking Stream Just Because I Drink a Lot Doesn’t Mean I’m a Dwarf, Okay!?

TSエルフさんの酒飲み配信~たくさん飲むからってドワーフじゃないからな!?~
Score 9.9
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2024 Native Language: Japanese
The stage is a world where dungeons appeared about 100 years ago and have now become an integral part of society. The protagonist of this story, Joji Kihara, is a small-time streamer running a channel called "Joji's Drinking Channel." During one of his usual drinking streams, Joji eats a mysterious mushroom and is overcome by an intense drowsiness, leading to his first-ever stream where he passes out. When Joji wakes up, much to the concern of his few loyal viewers, he notices something strange: his voice has become feminine, his hair has turned blonde, and—most notably—his ears are pointed. Joji has transformed into a being never before recorded in this world: an elf. ...But hey, that’s no reason to stop the drinking streams! What’s that? “You drink too much for an elf?” “Are you a dwarf?” Who cares! I’m an elf, alright!

Comment

Options

not work with dark mode
Reset