While briefly troubled by the thought of peeking into my own mind and writhing in agony, I still felt the need to act. But time slipped away, and before I knew it, dinner was over.
“…Thank you for the meal.”
With that, Suzuna calmly excused herself and went back to her room.
Suzuna was given a room on the second floor of our house, which used to be a storage room. As a result, the items that were originally stored there got shoved into my room, leaving me to live in somewhat cramped quarters.
Well, it’s a small matter for both the “me” who initially tried to keep my distance and the “me” who now wants to be a proper family with Suzuna.
(Now that she’s shut herself in like this, I can’t even strike up a light conversation.)
Everyone needs time alone, especially someone like Suzuna, who’s carrying deep wounds. But if she never comes out, there’s no opportunity to talk. It’s entirely for my own convenience, so I can’t force it on her.
“Eiji, go take a bath.”
“Oh, right.”
As I sat absentmindedly on the sofa, my mom urged me to go bathe. In our house, either my mom or dad typically goes first, followed by me, and then finally Suzuna.
I do feel a little bad about letting a young girl go last after everyone else has used the bath, but…
—I’d prefer to go last, if that’s okay.
That’s just how Suzuna is. She insists on being last, so there’s not much I can do.
“…Might as well get in now.”
All I can do is hurry and finish up to give her her turn as soon as possible. Maybe a nice soak will help me come up with a good idea!
◇◇◇
“…Nothing came to mind.”
Yup, I knew it. No stroke of brilliance came to me that easily. No matter how much I study or how much experience I gain, my essence as a person doesn’t change. You only have to look at my bookshelf to see—I don’t have any special talent to create something from nothing.
“Well, at least I’ve learned to stop expecting perfection from the start.”
After zoning out on both the sofa and in the bath, I came to a realization. There’s no way I’ll get things right from the get-go. One little mistake doesn’t matter. All I can do as an ordinary guy is keep trying different things.
“Out of the bath? Then let Suzuna know—”
“Oh, Mom. I’ll tell her.”
“Hm? Oh, really?”
Mom looked surprised at my offer. It’s understandable. Until this morning, I’d been avoiding contact with Suzuna, and even at dinner, I only watched her, not initiating any interaction.
But despite the sudden change of heart, Mom smiled warmly and placed her hand on my head.
“Well then, I’m counting on you.”
She entrusted me with the task without asking any questions… which feels a bit dramatic, maybe. I quickly went upstairs and knocked on Suzuna’s door.
“…Yes?”
A faint voice answered from the other side of the door. She sounded somewhat wary, like she was afraid of upsetting me.
“Suzuna, it’s me. Eiji.”
“Ah, y-yes.”
There was a loud thud, as if she’d accidentally kicked something. In a fluster, she hurried to open the door.
“W-What is it?”
“The bath’s free. I came to let you know.”
“Oh… um, thank you.”
She looked surprised, probably because Mom usually calls her. Despite our brief interaction when she arrived, she still doesn’t trust me all that much.
I glanced past her into her room. Although she’d moved in some furniture from her old house, the room still felt somewhat bare. Her desk was open with a textbook and notebook spread out.
“Sorry, did I interrupt your studying?”
“…No.”
Suzuna stepped out of her room and shut the door, as if she didn’t want me looking inside. Well, of course—me looking in like that was rather insensitive.
“…”
“Aah…”
I didn’t have any other topic to talk about, and the silence grew awkward.
“…Anyway, I’ll be going now.”
Not coming up with anything to break the awkwardness, I decided to step back. I’d come to let her know about the bath, so it wouldn’t make sense to linger.
As I turned to head back to my own room next door, I suddenly felt a tug on the hem of my shirt.
“Huh?”
“Ah.”
When I looked back, Suzuna quickly averted her gaze, flustered. She probably hadn’t meant to stop me. But then, why did she pull on my shirt?
“Suzuna?”
“…”
She stayed silent, staring down at the floor, looking somewhat lost.
(What am I supposed to do now…?)
Not that I mind. Whatever the reason, I’m happy that Suzuna made the effort to reach out to me. But without knowing her intentions, I can’t respond in a meaningful way.
“Suzuna, is something wrong?”
“…The… the bath… was it… was it okay?”
She squeezed out the words hesitantly.
It wasn’t as serious as I’d imagined… though maybe I was the one overthinking it.
“Yeah, the water temperature was perfect. You should hop in while it’s still warm.”
“…Okay.”
With a nod, Suzuna went back to her room. She’ll probably come down soon with her pajamas.
Waiting around would likely make her feel pressured, so I decided to head back to my room.
It may not have gone perfectly, but I’m glad I managed to talk with her, even if only a little. If we can keep up this pace, slowly but surely, maybe I’ll eventually reach her heart.
“Right, I need to keep this up tomorrow…”
I lay down on my bed, feeling drained.
I still need to make up for the way I treated her when she first arrived—to earn her trust as a true family member. As I thought about that, exhaustion washed over me, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.
