In the rattling and swaying train, the air is stifling among the crowd. I feel a sense of disgust with the oppressive atmosphere.
It’s bearable only because she is there.
She always gets on at a certain station—a girl with silver hair, probably a foreign exchange student. Her features are well-defined, and she carries an air of cool detachment.
Her gaze is a bit sharp, and her expression hardly changes.
I don’t try to speak to her or get close. I don’t even think about it.
…After all, I’ve seen other students try to talk to her and get immediately rejected. Regardless of gender, anyone who approaches her is either overwhelmed by her presence or tries to flirt and gets rejected, moving to another car.
Now, it’s just her and me riding in this car.
There’s another reason… How should I put it? She seems to belong to a different world, like the idols or actresses you see on TV.
Even if my favorite celebrity were in front of me, I wouldn’t have the confidence to speak to them.
They say women can feel someone’s gaze. It must be terrifying for a woman to be approached by a man who’s been staring at her.
So, I just watch from afar.
That’s how my days have been… continuing on.
Then, one autumn day.
Perhaps because I always watched her, I noticed something was off right away.
Her expression was tense. Well, it’s always tense, but this was different.
Had something unpleasant happened?
As I wondered, I noticed something else.
…A middle-aged man’s hand was touching her buttocks.
—A molester.
I wanted to stop him, but the train was too crowded to get close.
Should I overlook it? No, that wouldn’t be right.
That’s it. I’ve been (unofficially) drawing energy from her presence.
Ignoring my pounding heart, I took a breath and…
“There’s a molester here!”
I shouted.
At that moment, the man jerked in surprise and quickly made his escape. The surrounding people looked annoyed but didn’t try to stop him. I hesitated to call out the man, but when I saw her face, I stopped.
She looked at me and shook her head slightly.
◆◆◆
“By the way, there was a molester on the nearby train this morning. Do you know anything about it?”
“…No, I don’t.”
I averted my eyes as I responded to my friend, Eiji Makizaka.
“Really? You didn’t know? I heard it was on the train your beloved girl rides. You didn’t know?”
“…I don’t know.”
“Well, it’s fine if you don’t. It’s not like you would do such a thing.”
“Of course not…”
I’ve talked to Eiji about her… Well, just that there’s a beautiful person.
“Anyway, why don’t you get a girlfriend?”
“That’s quite a change in topic. It’s not about whether I will or won’t; it’s that I can’t.”
“Seriously? You’re not going to have a girlfriend during your high school years? Are you even living your youth?”
“Having a girlfriend doesn’t define youth… Though, I guess it would be more fun. For me, just hanging out and studying is enough. Maybe if I find someone I like, things will change.”
Sadly, though, I don’t have anyone I like.
“What about that girl on the train?”
“She’s from a different world. I like idols and actresses, but I can’t seriously fall in love with them. It just seems impossible. Besides, if she’s that cute, she probably has a boyfriend or two.”
“Having two would be a problem… But I get what you’re saying.”
I nodded at Eiji’s words.
“…But, I think she doesn’t have one.”
“Did you say something?”
“No, nothing. Anyway, want to go to karaoke today?”
“Oh, that sounds good. I’d like to go.”
“Alright!”
Despite everything, life goes back to normal.
—That’s what I thought at the time.
*************
Rattle and clatter, rattle and clatter.
As the train rocked, I fiddled with my smartphone.
Then, someone tapped me on the shoulder.
It must have been someone’s luggage. I didn’t mind.
But then, I was tapped again.
“…Hey.”
It must be my imagination. I went back to my phone.
Tap, tap.
“Excuse me.”
“Yes? Are you talking to me?”
I blurted out in a dazed voice. When I turned around, there she was—
The girl with snow-white hair and skin, her eyes a beautiful shade of blue, eyelashes long.
Her sharp features were dignified. Her expression, usually unchanging… seemed both beautiful and cute.
“…Um.”
Her voice, soft as a bell, brought me back to reality.
I had been staring.
“What is it?”
I managed to squeeze out a response. I made sure not to look at her voluptuous figure, only into her eyes.
She was surprisingly tall, almost as tall as me. And—
—Close. Because the train was crowded, our gazes met, and our faces were so close that a slight lean would mean a kiss.
Of course, I wouldn’t do that. It would be as bad as being a molester.
“I wanted to thank you… for helping me before.”
“Ah, that time… Don’t worry about it.”
I thought I was used to speaking formally since I sometimes talk to teachers, but my words didn’t come out smoothly. Probably because I lack experience talking to girls.
Still, I managed to say that.
“No, I was really… scared. The people around didn’t help, they just… looked at me with lewd eyes.”
“Is that so?”
“So, thank you very much.”
Saying that, she bowed her head as if to show gratitude. I had never been thanked by a girl before, and I didn’t know what to say…
“You’re welcome?”
Hearing that, she chuckled.
A different smile from her usual dignified look. A smile that emphasized cuteness.
Ah, so she can smile like this.
“No, I’m sorry. I don’t often hear ‘you’re welcome.’ But I don’t dislike people who accept my thanks properly.”
“Then, I’m glad… I guess?”
“Yes. And, you can talk to me normally. My formal speech is just a habit, and I’m a first-year high school student…”
“Ah, thank you… I mean, thanks. I’m also a first-year.”
Suddenly, I wondered why I was talking to her.
Somehow, I broke into a cold sweat.
I felt like my daily life was about to change.
“Um, so, I’ll be going now…”
I decided to go back to the days of just watching her from afar.
It should be possible to move now since there are fewer people.
I should still be able to make it.
“Wait.”
But my thoughts were in vain, stopped in their tracks.
She was holding onto my sleeve.
My heart skipped a beat. But that was just once.
Seeing her expression, mine changed.
Her face was—
“I have a favor to ask.”
She looked terribly distressed.
“What is it?”
I tried to respond with as kind a face as possible.
Seeing that, she looked relieved.
I saw many different expressions today. Maybe my horoscope was ranked first today.
Though I don’t believe in such things, I thought about it.
“So, the favor I want to ask is…”
She hesitated but looked me straight in the eyes.
“Could you stay by my side while we’re on the train?”
She said.
For a moment, my mind went blank.
Why?
How come?
Suppressing the questions in my mind, I reset my thoughts.
Then, one answer came to mind.
“Are you afraid of men?”
When I asked, she nodded solemnly.
It’s not strange. Women who have been victims of sexual assault, or men, may fear the opposite sex, or even the same sex.
There are people who dislike being touched, and those who would rather die than be touched.
She was more of the latter. That’s all there was to it.
“I was touched by a stranger before. I became afraid of trains, and then… at school, I became afraid of men’s gazes. I even became scared to leave my house in the morning.”
I see. It seemed quite serious.
But one question remained.
“Why me?”
That’s right. Why me? I’m just a stranger who helped her once.
“To be honest, that choice is too risky. It might even be a setup. I’m just another man, the kind you’re afraid of.”
I didn’t understand why I was so desperate.
Was I afraid of my daily life being destroyed?
“I want you to think about it again. Maybe ask a female friend or a trustworthy man—”
“There isn’t anyone.”
But she cut me off.
“You’re the only one.”
Her voice clearly reached my ears.
“Embarrassingly, I don’t have any friends I can trust. So, this is a big gamble for me.”
Her hand lightly touched my chest.
“Time might solve it eventually. But because of that ‘eventually,’ I might miss out on something important. It could be relationships, studies, or maybe even exams. Or something else.”
Was it a threat?
“You can take it as a threat if you want. But still, I need to overcome this fear.”
There was a hint of guilt on her face.
Maybe there was a reason for it.
“The reason I chose you is simple. Unlike others, you don’t look at anything but my face. You talk to me, looking me in the eyes.”
I was surprised but nodded at her words.
“Alright. I’ll stay by your side while we’re on the train.”
I had no reason to refuse.
“Thank you very much.”
When I nodded, she smiled with relief.
Then she let out a small “ah.”
“We haven’t introduced ourselves yet.”
“That’s right.”
She cleared her throat and looked me in the eyes.
“My name is Shinonome Nagi. I may look like a foreigner, but I was adopted by a couple, so that’s my name. You can consider me Japanese except for my appearance.”
—Shinonome Nagi.
I wondered why. Despite her foreign appearance, it seemed like a fitting name.
“My name is Minori Umii.”
“Yes, nice to meet you. Umii-kun.”
As she said that, she timidly extended her hand. I shook it.
Then, she – Shinonome smiled.
It was a warm, soft smile unlike any I had seen before.
From that day on. My daily life changed drastically.
