“Don’t get involved with me anymore.”
Kraze’s words echoed in my mind repeatedly.
As I stood there, unable to comprehend, Kraze turned his back and walked away.
I reached out, lost for words, grasping at the empty air.
“Why…?”
I couldn’t move until Kraze completely disappeared from sight.
After a while, I began to understand what had been said.
To say “don’t get involved with me anymore” meant just that; it meant I could no longer live as I had until now.
I understood.
I understood, but… I couldn’t accept it at all.
First of all, I couldn’t understand why he would prioritize that man… my brother over me.
My brother… No, family is a grotesque existence, like a boiled-down ugliness.
When they think someone is below them, they force obedience; when they recognize someone as above them, they become jealous and harass them with underhanded tactics.
With the justification that it’s okay to attack, they all turn against me.
It’s terribly vile and lowly.
I often think they are not human, but rather monsters.
I know the true nature of such a family group.
I have personally experienced and understood it.
So I am not wrong.
It is Kraze who is wrong.
It’s inconceivable that he would say such a thing to me, but I’ll forgive him because there’s no other choice.
Kraze will surely realize his mistake and apologize to me eventually.
Until then, I decided to wait, even if it was boring.
Five days had passed since Kraze declared he wouldn’t get involved.
Kraze still hadn’t come to apologize.
How stubborn can he be?
It’s true that once Kraze makes a decision, he sticks to it.
As evidence of this, he must have changed inns or gone somewhere else.
However, when I looked at the training grounds from a distance, Kraze was swinging his sword, so he hadn’t gone to another town without me.
I wondered when he would come to apologize.
Perhaps Kraze’s brother was telling him there was no need to apologize.
If that’s the case, I could understand why he wouldn’t come to apologize.
Even though I couldn’t know for sure, since that brother is no good, I thought about helping him.
But considering the future, it would probably be better not to intervene.
Kraze needs to break free from the curse of his family by himself.
Otherwise, even if he becomes an adventurer, the family will be a shackle.
Well, there’s still time until graduation.
I thought there was no need to rush.
Ten days had passed.
Something was off.
There was no sign of him coming to apologize.
I had expected he would come within about seven days.
Yet it had already been ten days.
During this time, Kraze and I passed each other several times, but we didn’t exchange a single word.
On the contrary, Kraze didn’t even look my way.
He was probably sticking to his promise of not getting involved with me.
It was cheeky and infuriating.
But I decided to wait.
Although it was something that shouldn’t happen, I was magnanimous enough to wait.
However, lately, I hadn’t talked to anyone, and at night, I felt like there was a huge hole in my heart.
I couldn’t help but notice the vacant room next door.
Something about me felt strange lately.
Maybe I was just tired from reading too many books.
Perhaps it would be better to take a rest.
Fifteen days had passed.
Recently, my body felt strange.
I couldn’t concentrate, and a mysterious anxiety filled my heart, making it hard to stay still.
I didn’t know what was happening to my body.
I hadn’t done anything special.
Had I simply become unwell… or had I unknowingly become mentally…
Mentally?
I repeated this word in my mind, feeling a sense of discomfort.
I had heard that when one is mentally fatigued, it could manifest as physical issues.
Could it be that I was mentally exhausted?
If so, from what…?
… I didn’t know.
I didn’t understand anything.
Moreover, I used to fall asleep immediately after diving into my futon, but lately, I couldn’t sleep.
I found myself thinking about various things, making it hard to go to sleep.
I had lost track of myself.
It felt like my footing was crumbling… like I was walking in a fog… unable to see ahead.
“Ugh… ha, ha, ha…”
Discomfort surged, and I jumped up from my bedding.
I curled up and held my mouth.
My breath was ragged.
My heartbeat quickened.
This was the first time I had felt this way… No, that’s not right.
Long ago, I had spent nights like this.
The night I became all alone after my mother died.
I had memories of spending nights like this for a while.
How I overcame it from there… I couldn’t remember anything.
But I could guess.
I must have retreated into my shell to protect my heart.
To avoid getting hurt any further, to avoid suffering, I hid it.
“Ugh… ugh…”
Once I recalled it, it flooded back to me.
Those hellish memories from that time.
The moment my father turned against me the instant he found out I had magical talent.
He had never shown any interest before… in fact, he had treated me with disdain.
If it was just me, that would be one thing… but the way he treated my mother is something I can’t forget, even if I wanted to.
My mother’s death was because of my father… that bastard.
… It wasn’t just my father.
That woman… my brother, my sister… they were all my enemies.
When I was pushed down the stairs, when I was locked in a room for no reason, when I was scalded with hot water… I realized.
I had no allies left.
If I remained passive… if I was looked down upon… eventually, they would do even worse things to me.
I had no choice but to protect myself.
I honed my magical skills more than ever, so I could deflect their malice.
“Why… family…?”
For me, family is… not something worthwhile.
Enemies connected by blood.
Hated beings who hurt and killed my mother.
Nothing more, nothing less.
So I am not wrong.
What I told Kraze was not wrong.
Family is not something to be cherished.
“Kraze…”
I whispered the name that had already drifted away.
At that moment… Kraze showed a face of anger for the first time.
He usually never got angry, no matter what I said… he would only laugh in disbelief… but he was angry.
“Ugh…”
Nausea surged again.
Sweat burst from my body, making my hair stick to my face.
I was sinking deeper into the mire.
The alarm bell rang, warning me that if I went any further, I wouldn’t be able to return… but I couldn’t stop.
I sank deeper and deeper.
My limbs became entangled in the mud, and no matter how much I struggled, I only sank further.
I could hear no sounds around me; only my own pounding heart and ragged breathing echoed inside me.
I understood nothing.
Tn note : just get married already
